I just wanna put this thing behind me and get on with my life (CLAPS, LAUGHS). They own and control the corporations. You dont. George Carlin on why he likes disasters and people under pressure, and why the planet is doin' just fine. So, I have solved this little political dilemma for myself in a very simple way. When they're in trouble, their explanations usually begin simply with words like MISS-COMMUNICATION; QUESTION:WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG, SENATOR?POLITICIAN:WELL, IT WAS A MISS-COMMUNICATION. I don't words that conceal reality. Two reasons I dont vote: first of all, its meaningless. Enjoyed this speech? Yes, all the words are quite impolite. If this is the best God can do, I am not impressed. They don't get any real human contact. So, the next time you're walking around looking at your phone, tweeting and Instagramming and Facebooking, just remember this: you're not living in the real world, you're living in the digital world. What? You know, say, boy, he really . Sure, here's a transcript of George Carlin's routine about social media: "Social media. Such a nice touch. He was a frequent performer and guest host on The Tonight Show during the three-decade Johnny Carson era, and hosted the first episode of Saturday Night Live in 1975. Forget the politicians. He missed this one. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents([email protected])/Rect[400.0562 72.3516 527.5898 82.8984]/StructParent 7/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> They [Catholic teachers] would fall back on, Well, its a mystery.[2]. Yeah the public sucks. Everyone experiences pain, of course. Then youre just what theyre looking for. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? George Carlin Discusses 'Silly Putty and Napalm' Aired June 08, 2001 - 21:00 ET. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. On Election Day, I stay home. The Religion and Political Views of George Carlin - Hollowverse ', Defense of 2nd Spanish Republic - 1936, Jimmy Reid: 'A rat race is for rats. George Carlin does not need my platitudes, but I will still proffer them. George Carlin - The Ten Commandments | Genius https://ad.style/. <<76B7883B53B3B2110A00D082ECFCFC7F>]/Prev 777933>> George Carlin. Everybody complains about politicians. Suddenly we're down to four. Bruce Lee was raised Catholic and Buddhist. Transcript. 0000053233 00000 n Been through all kinds of things worse than us. In April 2004, he placed second on the Comedy Central list of "Top 10 Comedians of US Audiences".The first of Carlin's 14 stand-up comedy specials for HBO was filmed in 1977. People go on there, they play with the animals, they pet them, they feed them, but they don't get any real interaction. But marital fidelity is a good idea, so I suggest we keep the idea and call this commandment "Thou shalt not be unfaithful." It's like a bunch of robots pretending to be human. What a great idea. Quick Guide. Everyone experiences pain, of course. "A transcript of George Carlin talking about Social Media" First Response: First Response Certainly! xWnF}WDh%&^6F%&T{84e[A0@-3wUr-*l:, XF{HT+T0?LL q8"y1yY0LV"vQ|8:GwPBr,&]Qt7oz5n That's why we need people who can make the TOUGH DECISIONS. Carlin was known for his dark comedy and reflections on politics, religion, psychology, language and taboo subjects. endobj Its a big club, and you aint in it! And secondly, I dont vote because I believe if you vote you have no right to complain. It's the perfect name because it's anti-social media. You enjoy yourselves; itll be a lot of fun. As long he included one additional commandment: Genius is the ultimate source of music knowledge, created by scholars like you who share facts and insight about the songs and artists they love. George Carlin was an American stand-up comedian, actor, social critic and author. Two is all you need, folks. Everybody complains about politicians. George Carlin on Voting transcript | iComedyTV.com The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. And there you have it, a transcript of George Carlin's take on social media. He pretty much smashed the nail squarely on the head. It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? People just spewing their uninformed opinions and insults at each other. Good honest hard-working people; white collar, blue collar it doesnt matter what color shirt you have on. They dont want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly theyre getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fucking years ago. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. The PEOPLE are fucked. 21 George Carlin Quotes On Government And Politics Then you're just what they're looking for. 183 21 We've been here, what, a hundred thousand? Updated on May 30, 2018. I think the list of commandments was deliberately and artificially inflated to get it up to ten. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying, lobbying, to get what they want. It's so obvious that it almost goes without saying, but comedians are generally more intelligent and sensitive than the average person. Two reasons I dont vote. Religion. The only part I would take with a block of salt is the last in which he explains why he doesnt vote. Now hes on the side of law and order, jiu jitsu really: POLITICIAN:WE'RE TRYING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS SO WE CAN GET THE FACTS OUT TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. POLITICIAN:I'M IN PUBLIC SERVICE, I LIKE AMERICA DON'T YOU? That doesnt help them. This is what we have to offer. [wptabtitle]Blog[/wptabtitle][wptabcontent][/wptabcontent] You crowned us', by Toni Morrison - 1988, for Michael Gordon: '13 days ago my Dads big, beautiful, generous heart suddenly stopped beating', by Scott and Sarah Gordon - 2018, Tara Westover: 'Your avatar isn't real, it isn't terribly far from a lie', The Un-Instagrammable Self, Northeastern University - 2019, Tim Minchin: 'Being an artist requires massive reserves of self-belief', WAAPA - 2019, Atul Gawande: 'Curiosity and What Equality Really Means', UCLA Medical School - 2018, Abby Wambach: 'We are the wolves', Barnard College - 2018, Eric Idle: 'America is 300 million people all walking in the same direction, singing 'I Did It My Way'', Whitman College - 2013, Shirley Chisholm: ;America has gone to sleep', Greenfield High School - 1983, Joe Marler: 'Get back on the horse', Harlequins v Bath pre game interview - 2019, Ray Lewis : 'The greatest pain of my life is the reason I'm standing here today', 52 Cards -, Mel Jones: 'If she was Bradman on the field, she was definitely Keith Miller off the field', Betty Wilson's induction into Australian Cricket Hall of Fame - 2017, Jeff Thomson: 'Its all those people that help you as kids', Hall of Fame - 2016, Dan Angelucci: 'The Best (Best Man) Speech of all time', for Don and Katherine - 2019, Hallerman Sisters: 'Oh sister now we have to let you gooooo!' They are us', Address to Parliament following Christchurch massacre - 2019, Dolores Ibrruri: "No Pasarn!, They shall not pass! Theyll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fucking place! WHEN THE HEARINGS HAVE CONCLUDED, I WILL MAKE A JUDGMENT OR I MIGHT MAKE AN ASSESSMENT. They're not your friends. 186 0 obj It's our undeniably superior (almost god-like) intelligence that made life difficult for us when we were children. It's like the Wild West of the internet, but with more trolls. It's like a sewer of hate and stupidity. Pfft! They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. This is said with a straight face although it's obvious of course that the proposition is stated precisely backwards (LAUGHS). The more we pointed out the foolishness of our "superiors," the more they kept us down. Vodafone Ad. It goes WAY beyond his famous Seven Words You Cant Say on Television (also classic). The planet has been through a lot worse than us. Londons Heathrow Airport, November 7, 2018. Oh, I gotta share this with my friends, you know what you should do? <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents( M o n t c l a i r S t a t e U n i v e r s i t y \n D i g i t a l C o m m o n s)/Rect[466.2109 650.625 540.0 669.375]/StructParent 2/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Its hard to say if he was a Republican or a Democrat, however, as he refused to vote, considering it pointless because voting, as he said, is the illusion of choice.[4]. So, that I can continue my work in Government. Best George Carlin Quotes of All Time - LiveAbout Dst7cSE99`YpOqBp@&+69ykl95-! Hi speech lovers,With costs of hosting website and podcast, this labour of love has become a difficult financial proposition in recent times. We could see through the hypocracy and illogic of our parents and teachers, but because of our age and size we couldn't do anything about it. They dont pass through a membrane from some other reality. Because the owners, the owners of this country dont want that. (Yes, I know, the USS America is a humongous, gargantuan behemoth, and the rudder very, very, very small, but we can still make it sloooowly turn to a certain general heading if we all pile our [intelligent] votes in the wheelhouse. George Carlin The Planet Is Fine transcript | iComedyTV.com Well where do people think these politicians come from? You don't. You have no choice. A friend is someone you can count on. Do you think its possible that one of these POLITICIANS whose judgment is so poor that he honestly thinks of himself as serving the Nation might occasionally be expected to indulge in little patriotism huh What do you think? I have my ideas. (LAUGHS). You're just trying to impress people you don't even know. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. 'Oh, I'm so exhausted from traveling all over Europe for the third time this year. this is my tribute and way of promoting George Carlin's work. Thats what the owners count on. This country was bought and sold and paid for a long time ago. George Carlin: Life Is Worth Losing - English Transcript Local elections, special elections, and mid-terms, especially. Marc Allan: Good, thanks for calling. <>/Border[0 0 0]/Contents(English Language and Literature Commons)/Rect[137.2383 212.4906 328.3613 224.2094]/StructParent 5/Subtype/Link/Type/Annot>> Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. Its what our system produces: Garbage in. Never mind the press conferences get the big knife out of the drawer. 0000080920 00000 n I'm tired of fucking Earth Day, I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists, these white, bourgeois liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there aren't enough bicycle paths. Theres a reason. The politicians, the celebrities, and the lawyers, and although their level of insincerity is astonishing, it's still kinda fun to hear them talk. Carlin left a wealth of social, political, and religious commentaryand most of it was highly critical. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. I dont vote. They don't fall out of the sky. That's because now he's feeling the heat and so as time passes and more evidence comes in he suddenly changes directions and tells us: POLITICIAN:WERE TRYING TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS! In this paper, I examine George Carlin's stance on . Results like these do not belong on the rsum of a Supreme Being. In fact at this point he might even say: POLITICIAN:I'M WILLING TO TRUST IN THE FAIRNESS OF THE AMERICAN PEOPLE. endobj <>stream Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Well, if you ask me, it's more like the land of the self-obsessed and the home of the vain. I recall many years ago, when he was guest-hosting the Tonight show, George Carlin having a somewhat strained political conversation with the comedian Shelley Winters. We haven't learned how to care for one another, we're gonna save the fucking planet? That's always a nice touch, American people. According to Carlin, religion is one of humanitys greatest swindles and created nothing but lies, conflict, and suffering. You have no choice! And American English is loaded with euphemisms. Ive read it dozens of times. Thank you. First of all, I can see the sun, okay? And then, maybe, put down your phone and go have an actual conversation with someone. 0000000716 00000 n THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED. They are irrelevant. George Carlin was one of the most well-known and beloved comedians of all time. <> BUT WHEN I DO, I'LL ADVISE YOU. I'M SERVING THE NATION. endobj Most of the images you will find here are available for license or purchase. About Press Copyright Contact us Creators Advertise Developers Terms Privacy Policy & Safety How YouTube works Test new features NFL Sunday Ticket Press Copyright . Some parents deserve respect. Copyright 2017 iComedyTV.com. Its a big club, and. If you want to make a difference in the world, if you want to connect with people in a meaningful way, put down the phone, step away from the computer, and go have a real conversation with someone. And the greatest arrogance of all: save the planet. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shitty jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now theyre coming for your Social Security money. George Carlin on the language of politics - YouTube I'm so interesting, I'm so important!'. endobj Maher is a liberal who has endorsed at least the last two Democratic presidential candidates. And nobody seems to notice. Marc Allan: Oh, okay, good. I don't like euphemisms, or euphemistic language. It is a crisis of confidence', Crisis of Confidence speech - 1979 , Jon Stewart: "They responded in five seconds", 9-11 first responders, Address to Congress - 2019, Jacinda Ardern: 'They were New Zealanders. George Carlin speech at the National Press Club (May 13, 1999) "George Carlin delivered a humorous speech in which he ma Show more Show more George Carlin on Being Arrested for. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick thats being jammed up their assholes everyday, because the owners of this country know the truth. And if we had a list like that, I wouldn't mind that brilliant judge in Alabama displaying it prominently in the courthouse wall. 0 They don't fall out of the sky. Youre just going to wind up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. But that would be much too direct! 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